Up Helly Aa
The Lerwick Up Helly Aa is Europe's largest fire festival. A thousand-strong torchlit procession of Vikings in full regalia marches through Shetland's capital before hurling their torches into a replica longship, burning it to ashes. The night ends with ceilidh dancing until dawn. It's dark, it's loud, it smells of paraffin.
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World Gurning Championships
Competitors pull the most grotesque face they can manage while sticking their head through a horse collar (known as a 'braffin'). The tradition dates to 1267 as part of the Egremont Crab Fair. Judges look for the most hideous distortion of features. Dentures are often removed for maximum effect.
fireTar Barrel Rolling
Locals set fire to full-sized tar barrels and carry them through the narrow streets of Ottery St Mary on their shoulders, before rolling them down the hill. Participants wear leather gloves and asbestos aprons. Children get their own smaller barrels. The town smells of burning tar for days.
competitionWorld Shin Kicking Championships
Part of the Cotswold Olimpicks, competitors stuff straw down their trousers and kick each other's shins until one falls over. It sounds brutal because it is. The event dates back to the 17th century. The winner is the one left standing — or limping — the longest.